If you ask your kids, “How was your day?” you will get nothing! You’ll be lucky to get fine or an eye roll!
A few years ago, after reading way too many articles, I changed the questions I ask in order to understand the day my girls spent away from me. I shifted my focus so I would know how to help them; I also wanted to know who they spent their time with.
Here’s what I ask:
Who did you sit with at lunch today?
What made you happy today?
Do you need help with anything that happened today?
Who made you laugh today?
If you could change one thing about your day today, what would it be?
I focus on the positive. If something made them sad, it will come out in these questions.
We also take one night a week during dinner, often on Wednesdays, to have a family meeting with all five of us. We set aside this time for our girls to talk about anything or ask for help with anything. We often kick off our time by asking: “Family meeting time! Who has something to talk about?” If they need more prompting, we might ask: “Who can we help this week?” or “What has frustrated you this week?” or “What has been the best part of your week?” or “How is your teacher/friend doing this week?”
If you want your kids to talk, simply switch up the questions. Keep them positive. They’ll open up!