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Remove the Emotion

Updated: Nov 18, 2019

Remove the emotion. This simple statement from a career coach changed the way I approach business. This mantra is one of the main reasons I’ve been able to build a successful career helping others.

What if we all removed the emotion from everything we do? Quit getting caught up in what others might say, think, or do! I have applied this to many areas of my business and life. I challenge you to do the same.

Here’s a few simple examples:

Are you in sales? (Yes, that awful word nobody likes, even though we are all selling, all the time.) Are you getting your kids to eat their veggies? Yep, you're selling! Did you tell your friend about your favorite coffee shop, clothing boutique, or hairspray? Yep, you're selling!

When SHARE your business or product that you love AND believe in, remove the emotion. Don't be tied to the way they respond. Their response has nothing to do with you and everything to do with THEM! They are not emotional about it. They don't spend all day worrying about it, so why should you?

When I first started the practice of "removing the emotion,” I would literally say OUT LOUD, before I picked up the phone: "REMOVE the EMOTION." Then, I picked up the phone --- before I could talk myself out of it --- and made the call. Guess what? It worked! And I didn't die! And believe it or not, I still have friends.

A successful business woman shared an analogy that really cemented this theory for me. Think of a waitress at a diner who is serving coffee. Her one, main job is to walk table-to-table and offer a cup of coffee to everyone. When someone tells her no, do you think she takes it personally? NO, because it is not about her. She simply moves on to the next table and offers coffee to the other guests. Believe it or not, she even comes back to the table, to the person who told her NO to see if now is a better time for coffee! Imagine that?! Next time you pick up that phone or approach that friend in the mall (do people even go to malls anymore?), remind yourself that you are simply offering a cup of coffee and remove the emotion. You will be amazed at how well this works.

I've applied this to my personal life as well. Think about tough conversations with family or friends. Don't run from them, simply remind yourself --- even say it out loud before you start --- remove the emotion.  You will be be calm, talk about what is bothering you, and more importantly, LISTEN with an open mind, because remember, you've removed the emotion!

When working with my girls, my challenge to them when they are struggling with a relationship is “let's remove all the emotion from the story and get to the facts.” It is amazing how fast they can do this; we are re-training their brains to focus on what is important.

I'm happy to report that today, nearly eight years after starting the practice of removing the emotion, I no longer need to say it out loud. It is second nature to me and very seldom do I get emotional about a response.  

Can you remove the emotion? Give it a try. I know you’ll be glad you did.


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